And i,
as the low rumble of thunder
beckons the dreamers deeper into
their warm hideaways,
almost forgot,
it also rained that night.
Questions, wandered inside the light
brown spheres,
Answers, glided in the tangle of twigs:
Fluttered, flickered; flame.
Cotton-soft warmth in scorching touch.
And so, you ask
If that’s a dream
Or a fantasy,
Say I, neither is nor
Dream would be one where
You and i walk side by side holding hands towards the
Lilac-colored sunset of one ethereal afternoon;
Fantasy would be one where i sit reading
Under an old mahogany tree, you
Barefooted sippin’ your tea
Next to me;
This, my dear,
Is one non-ubiquitous world
Woven by flares of desire,
Spun by the fragile threads of hope
The only citizen, oblivious to the
universe
I, bathe in the sea of your light,
Blinded; burned, singed
by the dancing crackles of your fire.
really, with such a sore throat, you’ve gotta stop trying to sing, girl…
okay, here i am in front of my laptop, typing awkwardly on the keyboard (guess i’ve been away too long from this device; that or the fact that i need to trim my nails), trying to spill the words, in hope that this writing activity will shut my mouth for a while.
why the need to shut up, you say? well, for a two days now, i have been having difficulty swallowing. it becomes a conscious thing to do, no longer a reflex. to make things worse, i have been in this weird craving for singing, lately. or trying to, as a matter of fact. spent the last 12 hours screaming at the top of my lungs (not 12hours straight, but still, i feel my larynx need a massage out of fatigue 
) . not a pretty thing to hear, that i can be sure of, but it felt good, hahahaha..
well, that’s just one way to kill the time, right, a thing to keep you occupied, a mask to hide the yearning?
didn’t really do much these two days. maybe knowing that tomorrow is still an off-office day make that much difference. and with that, the favorite word of all time, procrastination
it’s like getting a justification to keep from doing chores that should’ve been done by today, this free day stuff
i know that some time ago i said it woulda been really nice to have an extra day off at the weekend, a three instead of a two. well, it does feel good to know i don’t have to go to the office tomorrow, but on the other side, it sucks that i kinda just vegged out. me humans, never satisfied.
ergh.. it’s getting more painful to swallow. (yeah, blame yourself for that, darl)
upon waking up on saturday, realized i just had another beautiful dream -sorta was the kind of dreams i always dream of having. it was a wonderful way to start a day, waking up from dreams like that, but as the day went, that was just the best it could get. nothing more. well, i shouldn’t expect that the days will go just exactly the same as they were, but still, i was waiting. *here, a little smile that doesn’t say approval nor disagreement*
heck, i shouldn’t expect anything at all, to be frank. (yeah, who are you anyway, eh, girl?)
hmmh.. now i have this strange thought. of you, going back to that place, and returning here repeating what had happened.
my.
scenes whirling inside my head. striving to be acknowledged, struggling to be accepted, wishing to be remembered, and confusingly demanding to be forgotten.
and here we go again, another mumbo jumbo of the brain.
Midnite. Very quiet here, and i am still wide awake. Today Yesterday almost felt like friday, which is today, which means i’m going to confuse my mind more than i should and i have to stop yapping about this yesterday and today thing, so stop.
Let’s talk about other things.
Just watched another ep of oth, one before the last of season 2. The quote was Shaw’s two tragedies. Here is the quote (yeah, i googled it, kind sir :p ):
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.
To some point i’d say i can really relate to that quote, heheheh.. then again, there’s just so many quotes you can relate to, eh, girl?
I’d love to explore deeper about the quotation but my cerebral cortex seems to be too fatigued from doing nothing in the daylight, so i’ll pass for now and hopefully i would remember to write a thing or two about that later on.
I’ll just do a little recap on yesterday. It’s been a while since i write this way, been too occupied with drowning deeper the bottomless hole i still do .
Did a little shopping this evening (that reminds me i bought but haven’t read the 2 comic books and a bahasa-translated “Just So Stories”!), got a buy-one-get-one flavored popcorn (let’s abuse the microwave again, guys, heheheh) and guess what? A green tea flavored LuVeLitee! (yay!)
I still love the chocolate one the most, but the green tea one is really light, not too sweet, and comes in a perfect size.
Being claimed to be low fat, i personally think it’ll lessen the guilt any girl-who-thinks-she’s-fat feels eating the icecream 
Drowsiness is kicking in, still want to write but i need to get up early so i’ll just stop here. All in all, today-i mean yesterday- was really great. (one little detail played a huge part here, but i’m not telling :p)
Hope tomorrow’s -today- much greater than yesterday 
Hmm.. Just came to mind, another Shaw’s quote, an example of one of few weeks ago’s wod, that says:
What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.
This guy must have written so many quotable lines, dontcha think? I’ll look it up later, maybe sylvia plath’s works, too. Seems interesting.
Nyah. Bed time, girl, now.
No opening, no body, no conclusion. Not an essay, either. Heehee.
Night, world.. 
..when i let a day go by without talking to you..that day’s just no good
The one simple line that says it all
Maybe my fave quote so far <3
I can’t even define what i’m feeling now anymore.. I guess, a little bit of everything, eh?
Somehow, this ‘tastes’ a lot like orange marmalade. Sweet, tangy, bitter.
A pinch of jealousy, three cups of sadness, one bowl of joy, two spoonful of tears, an ounce of smile. Those are the main ingredients.
Last friday’s events truly paraphrased the words: The Lord works in mysterious ways. The day also showed me one great example on not giving up hope, that there’s another door opening when the other one’s closed.
That when something bad happens, maybe, it’s meant to happen, because greater things will come next.
Surely, after difficulty is ease
what was the word written in my kindergarten report card? Oh yea,
proficiat!
Hopefully the upcoming events are even greater -in a positive way- than last week’s.
Cast the spell, summon me; because no matter how much i want it, i can’t conjure you out of thin air..
Maybe, just maybe, you should tell the devil that messed up with your head to stop messing with my heart.
The sweet smell of soil after the droplets fell down from the afternoon sky in a drizzle,
The driblets on the windows,
blurring the sight, separating us from the world.
And in the fine mist under the sheepish sun,
lost, i was, with you,
lost, i am, in you.
I know not the name yet, but this feeling is so familiar, like reading a great story of an enticing adventure, crammed with the beauty of love, the anticipation of hope, the boldness of actions, the agony of sorrow, the twist of emotions, when abruptly, without notice, the next pages of the book-half, maybe- are missing.
No blank pages where you yourself could write how the story ends, no endings, no closure.
But then again, what closure could make a happy ending? This is no fairy tale.
