Today i experienced a situation that might very likely be described in one of banana yoshimoto’s novel.
I phoned my grandma. Nothing extraordinary about it, but it was different than any other phone calls i’ve made before.
Last night, my mother called. She didn’t call me, she called mbak Dar-was my nanny, now my niece’s. I was already in deep sleep, but it wasn’t the reason she didn’t dial my number. From what i heard the next morning-this morning,almost yesterday, as i’m writing it only hour to midnite, seemed that grann’s lost her ability to remember names and people. Which was quite a shock, because earlier on saturday, she was fine. We-me and my sister- videocalled her, showing her the great grand daughter, and she was laughing all the time, even singing to aleesya some playful traditional tunes.
When i first heard it from mbak dar, i didn’t truly believe what she’d told me. There was a part of my brain that said, ‘that’s not possible’. And so, i called her.
What a relief it was, as mbak dewi answered it on the other end and gave it to her, to hear grann said my name.
Pretending that i never been informed about what happened, i talked to her the way i usually did. Asking how she was, whether she has had breakfast, what she’s doing, who has come and visited her, that kind of stuff. Yet, there were some things i found odd about the whole conversation.
First, the one who picked up the phone was mbak dewi, not my mom. For a milisecond i thought i dialed sa-ga home, since she has been the one accompanying grann in saga in these past few months. Flashes of two week ago’s visit ensued. Not for long because i then recalled her face in the background some time during the videocall.
Second, the clarity. I never remembered talking to her in such crystal-clear connection. There used to be some low buzzing sound, or an echo, or a bad reception where she couldn’t hear my already-loud words, or almost inaudible sound coming from her because she held the receiver too far from her mouth, things like that.
Not this time.
It was as if she had spoken right into my ear, but not in a whisper kind of way. I could hear every word, every syllable very clearly. A little slurred, but clear. The slightest pauses between words only made it clearer. As i closed my eyes, I even almost could imagine we had been talking face-to-face, very close to each other.
Third, her words themselves. She kept talking about going on a vacation. “Dolan” was word of the day. She told me how people came but no one stayed because they’ve got work to do. I didn’t know who she referred to as ‘people’, she didn’t answer when i asked her that, she just kept on talking about vacation repeatedly. This, the way she spoke, gave me the creeps.
After a half hour or so, i ended the conversation.
To my own surprise, i was calm enough through this. Hearing the news and all. I don’t know if it’s just a realization that hasn’t kicked in yet, that this sort of thing would happen someday, or if i somehow have subconsciously developed an understanding, built layer by layer on daily basis, to prepare myself when it happens.
